Seeking Comments & English Edit to the Wildlife Conservation Plan of EOC

Status: Just started
Time needed: 
A week
Step: 
1

I have made a few changes to the plan ,i welcome all neighbors to make more changes or suggestions.

For this task we are seeking comments and suggestions for improvement to the attached conservation plan as well as assistance with editing for English.

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Could send me your email for my comments

--
Stanley Okurut

0
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Stanley-

It's best if you comment here so that everyone can see your suggestions and all the volunteers can build on those and not spend time redoing things that have already been completed. If you can just simply summarize in a post that would be a great help.

Regards-

Jennifer

0
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I was in opinion that land owners section should immediately be followed by land tenure.
--
Stanley Okurut

0
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Sadera Ole Kilelu

hello Stanley ,
My computor crashed last week , i have been oflate been using my friends computor and not all the time
--My email is paulkilelu@hotmail.com

Patriots of Nature and legends of culture

0
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Dave

Who is/are the likely audience for this document? Is it intended for organisations whom you wish to support your Conservancy, e.g. KWS or for grant applications?

0
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Sadera Ole Kilelu

hello Dave,
To answere you question, the audience on this document is KWS,Conservation organizations,investors ,donors and the Nabuur volunteers like you who would otherwise wish to know more about EOC.It will help us develope a proposal for funding of EOC,It will also be used as road map for the development of Empaash Oloirienito Conservancy.It is an evaluation tool to be used by the above bodies to measure the viability of the project and its impact on environment preservation
--
Patriots of Nature and legends of culture

0
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Dave

Hi. So the document is pretty much for everybody :-)
I asked the question because the intended audience will influence how perfect it needs to be, to guide us Neighbours reviewing it. Thanks.
Dave

0
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Sadera Ole Kilelu

Yes thank you too,
this document have to be best because we have other three conservancies waiting to be created by this village

--
Patriots of Nature and legends of culture

0
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Dave

First thing that came to my mind with this Plan is it needs an introduction: a paragraph or two describing, in general, what you are trying to achieve and why. As a starting point, there are some useful chunks on this Nabuur village site - e.g. in the Background, and in some forum posts in the Meet the Neighbours thread.

I think that is better than just launching into the technical chapter about land tenure and so on.

I hope that helps.
Dave

0
stdClass Object ( [nid] => 249520 [vid] => 251440 [type] => task_discussion [status] => 1 [created] => 1257280047 [changed] => 1257280047 [comment] => 0 [promote] => 1 [sticky] => 0 [revision_timestamp] => 1257280047 [title] => Re: Seeking Comments & English Edit to the Wildlife Conservation Plan of EOC [body] => Hi Sadera and Dave, An introduction is a great idea specifying a clear mission statement for all stakeholders, etc. And the goals can also be to increase the standards of living for all partners in the business,increasing employment in the region for the residents, even developing local infrastructure. A monitoring and evaluation program may be beneficial in your planning process as well. Measuring specific data will be helpful to insure that every new aim is furthering the mission of the business. Since you're zoning a protected area, possibly for research to be implemented, you can monitor the changes in species populations. Another aspect would be a socio-cultural indicator. If an objective is to set funds aside for a community project or to provide jobs for the local residents, you can evaluate the changes in income or in types of employment. For business, you can measure changes in tourists each year, change in revenue, etc. This really helps in achieving your goals. The more detailed your plan is, the more successful it will be. You have great attractions inventoried. Even ecotourists like to know about nearby museums, hotel shopping centers which can be a plus when pulling tourists to one destination (yours) over another. A theme may also be good to market your product. It could be a few stated words that attract one strong market or several. It's usually written creatively and effectively. This is to provide a positive, long lasting impact on the tourist to take home with them. Hope the above will be helpful. Sincerely, Heather [teaser] => Hi Sadera and Dave, An introduction is a great idea specifying a clear mission statement for all stakeholders, etc. And the goals can also be to increase the standards of living for all partners in the business,increasing employment in the region for the residents, even developing local infrastructure. [log] => [format] => 1 [uid] => 11996 [name] => Hwilkey [picture] => [data] => a:0:{} [path] => village/kajiado/project/task/discussion/re-seeking-comments-english-edit-wildlife-conservation-plan-8 [field_embedded_video] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [embed] => [value] => [provider] => [data] => Array ( ) ) ) [field_external_link] => Array ( [0] => Array ( [url] => [title] => [attributes] => N; ) [1] => Array ( [url] => [title] => [attributes] => N; ) ) [comment_type] => task_discussion [og_groups] => Array ( [0] => 226285 ) [og_groups_both] => Array ( [226285] => Kajiado ) [og_public] => 1 [tags] => [nodewords] => Array ( ) [trid] => 0 [language] => en [i18n_status] => 0 [taxonomy] => Array ( ) [translation] => Array ( ) [cid] => 249520 [pid] => 248467 [hostname] => 68.36.219.152 [thread] => 03.00/ [mail] => [homepage] => [comment_target_nid] => 246930 [depth] => 1 )

Hi Sadera and Dave,

An introduction is a great idea specifying a clear mission statement for all stakeholders, etc. And the goals can also be to increase the standards of living for all partners in the business,increasing employment in the region for the residents, even developing local infrastructure.

A monitoring and evaluation program may be beneficial in your planning process as well. Measuring specific data will be helpful to insure that every new aim is furthering the mission of the business. Since you're zoning a protected area, possibly for research to be implemented, you can monitor the changes in species populations. Another aspect would be a socio-cultural indicator. If an objective is to set funds aside for a community project or to provide jobs for the local residents, you can evaluate the changes in income or in types of employment. For business, you can measure changes in tourists each year, change in revenue, etc. This really helps in achieving your goals. The more detailed your plan is, the more successful it will be.

You have great attractions inventoried. Even ecotourists like to know about nearby museums, hotel shopping centers which can be a plus when pulling tourists to one destination (yours) over another.

A theme may also be good to market your product. It could be a few stated words that attract one strong market or several. It's usually written creatively and effectively. This is to provide a positive, long lasting impact on the tourist to take home with them.

Hope the above will be helpful.

Sincerely,
Heather

0
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Hi Sedera,

I gree with Heather on the evaluation and monitoring plan. This will be very useful in helping you maintain sense of strategic direction in developing this site

--
Stanley Okurut

0
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Sadera Ole Kilelu

Dear All,
I totaly agree with Heather,what she is talking about is what is in my mind,to put those ideas in the draft management plan is the problem with me.If Heather can download the draft edit and add her ideas ,i think it will be better so we can come up with the best plan

--
Patriots of Nature and legends of culture

0
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Dave

Hi

I've added a small Introduction to the Plan, as there was some agreement to my suggestion.

Apologies that its taken so long. Hope its ok, or at least a good starting point.

Dave

0
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Sadera Ole Kilelu

Dear All,
I have been away for some time and just found that Dave added something to the plan,it is very well in order.
It is a good gesture again ,The EOC have been formally registered now as EMPAASH OOLOIRIENITO CONSERVATION TRUST (EOCT)
It is registered with 19 members with 34 parcels of land,some individuals owns more than 1 parcels
More improvements to the plans are wellcome
paul
--
Patriots of Nature and legends of culture

0
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Hi Sadera,

I had an opportutnity to look at the plan. My comments are, to me, your introduction should have been the summary of the plan. And the introduction could cover EOC, location, the people in the area and their customs, the physical/climatic factors in the area and a brief mention of issues EOC is trying to handle. This would then be followed by the problem statement which would then lead you to objectives and specific things the plan will address.

--
Stanley Okurut

0